Family Values

From LoveToKnow Kids

Wendy Schuman is the editor of Beliefnet.com, the largest website for inspiration and spirituality on the Internet. As a mother of two, she's always been fascinated by how children learn values like honesty, responsibility, and courage, which build character and have a positive impact on society. Beliefnet has a monthly audience of about 14 million and a very active community full of great discussions, including parents’ discussion groups. In December, Beliefnet will be celebrating its 10th birthday.

What is the Family Values Toolkit?

One thing that parents of every faith or belief system have in common is the desire to raise good children, kids who know the difference between right and wrong. For a long time my editors and I dreamed of creating a Family Values Toolkit on how to transmit these values to kids. This year, thanks to the sponsorship of Liberty Mutual’s Responsibility Project, we finally got the chance.

The Family Values Toolkit features nine ethical values that parents want to teach their kids. Each month we focus on a different value and offer a gallery of generally helpful tips for parents or grandparents to use in teaching that value. There's also a quiz for adults to test themselves on whether they are expressing that value, since children learn more from example than from anything else.

A second important part of the Toolkit is a special developmental guide with tips and activities geared to your child’s age group. This allows parents to drill deeper into their child's special way of learning at different stages. You can download the guides and post them on your fridge, or keep them in a notebook. So, whether you're teaching, say, patience to a toddler, a preschooler, or a teenager, there's a checklist of activities and things to know about that age group.

Which values did you choose, and why?

The values we’ve featured so far are:

Courage
Empathy
Cooperation
Patience
Responsibility
Respect

The upcoming values are: Honesty, Generosity, and Tolerance. We asked parents which core values they thought were most important and consulted with developmental psychologists and educators of different faiths on how to teach them.

Why are values important today?

The lack of values in public life is really evident these days. With stories about celebrities and politicians behaving disrespectfully, it's more important than ever to counter these negative examples. For example, we explain in our "respect" gallery that respect is more than good manners—it's the belief that others have as much worth and dignity as you and deserve to be treated with courtesy. Dishonesty is obviously such a big problem—many people have lost their life savings because of dishonesty and irresponsibility by financial managers. So, values could not be more current, and it's never too early to teach these lessons—for our children's good and the good of society.

What specific advice do you offer?

In our respect guide, one tip we give is to watch TV with your child and comment when people or characters are rude or intolerant. Let’s say you’re watching Kanye and Taylor Swift on the Video Music Awards—you might say, "He isn't behaving respectfully toward her. He shouldn't be interrupting her speech. What do you think?"

What are some of the other toolkits that have been made available so far?

The Family Values Toolkit is the major one we've done. But we also have tools on how to welcome your baby according to different faith traditions, plus rituals for bringing adopted children into the family. We also have a Relationships Toolkit, which is a series of quizzes to help couples learn more about what makes them compatible and help them deepen their relationship.

What are some future Toolkits that you have in mind?

If your readers would like to send suggestions for future Toolkits or other values they would like us to cover, please email me at wschuman@beliefnetstaff.com. You can also post them on this discussion board.