Essentials of a Good Parent

Whether you are thinking of having your first child or are the proud parent of six children, you may be asking yourself what are the essentials of a good parent.

The characteristics of a good parent are in essence some of the same characteristics we find admirable in all people. Here are five of the most important:

Childhood is all about learning—learning to control your body and mind, to interact positively with your environment—and to basically learn the rules of social interaction. All this learning requires a lot of repetition, trial and error, and positive guidance. This will take a lot of patience and reassurance on your part. A child raised in a nurturing environment where patience is practiced learns it is okay to make mistakes and to use trial and error as a means of developing his skills and interests. He is also more apt to feel empowered to expand his horizons and excel in other avenues of his life.

Life is hard enough for little ones to acclimate to without a barrage of ever-changing rules. Practice consistency, both in their routine and in expectations. Not only does an established routine give children a sense of security, it helps them establish positive habits and can alleviate the chaos that can comes with trying to get a small child off to school or day care.

Especially until they learn to speak, parents need to be able to interpret their children's feelings. When a baby is crying, it could be for a number of reasons, none of which he has the language skills to communicate to you. It is your job to interpret the tears into a cry for a clean diaper, a stomachache, or the need for a bottle. Even toddlers who can talk often need you to take a proactive role in understanding their actions. Young children often have a problem identifying or communicating that they do not feel well, so they may act out in odd ways. A normally bright, active child who is oddly quiet and sedate may be having an off day or may be coming down with the flu. As a parent, it is up to you to interpret those actions into feelings.

Kids are such cute little people, with cute little voices and limited vocabularies. That is why one of the essentials of a good parent is advocacy. They need us to speak for them and act on their behalf. Stand up for your children's rights and demand appropriate care and treatment as needed, while at the same time being cognizant that they are capable of fighting some of their own battles. This means you must also give them the room to grow and work out some of their own issues. For example, a ten-year old should have some coping skills for dealing with a bully or be able to ask for help from a teacher. He should be allowed the room to test his own options before you rush in to intervene.

This list is by no means all inclusive, but it does give you a good starting place in developing the essentials of a good parent.

Fortunately, you are not alone in your quest to determine and develop good parenting skills. You will find a plethora of helpful and supportive websites devoted to helping you become the best parent you can be. Start with these:

• Parenting.org
• Parenting.com
• Parents as Teachers
• by parents for parents

The key to being a good parent can be summed up to include being vigilant to the needs and best interests of your child and taking a proactive approach to meet those needs and interests. It is an ongoing task that will often test your patience and abilities, but the rewards are amazing—happy, well-adjusted, loving children, and your own sense of accomplishment.

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