Child Behavior: Parenting Tips

From LoveToKnow Kids

Even the most skilled parents sometimes have problems with child behavior; parenting tips from experts and other parents can help.

Toddlers and Preschoolers

Two- and three-year-old children are notorious for throwing temper tantrums, shouting the word "no" almost constantly, and generally making their parents' lives more difficult. While whining and temper tantrums are just expected child behavior at this stage, there are some tips parents can use to decrease their frequency.

Positive Reinforcement

Experts say that the best advice for teaching young children how to behave is through positive reinforcement. Believe it or not, little kids really do want to please adults, particularly their parents. If you praise them when they do something you want them to do, like share with a sibling, children are far more likely to repeat that behavior.

Frequent Reminders

Young children need frequent reminders of your expectations. It helps to tell them what you expect of them ahead of time, rather than once they are already acting up. Also, tell them what will happen if they behave and what will happen if they don't. For example, if you are taking your three-year-old out to dinner, on the way to the restaurant, say, "You need to sit in your chair and color quietly. If you wait nicely for the food to come, you can get some ice cream after we eat. If you don't, we won't be getting any ice cream." But remember, if you say this to your child, you have to be prepared to follow through.

School Aged Children

School age kids frequently test their boundaries, forcing parents to look for child behavior parenting tips. Many school aged children respond well to a system of rewards based on their behavior. The hard part for parents is to be consistent with whatever system they choose to use.

Behavior Charts

Many families maintain a chart to keep track of which child completes the various chores around the house. Each chore equates to a certain reward, such as extra television minutes, a later bedtime, or a certain amount of money. The same type of chart can be set up for children's behavior. Getting along with siblings or doing what Mom says the first time she asks can equate to a certain reward. Some parents choose to have negative behaviors equate to a negative consequence. Maybe not picking up after themselves means they go to bed five minutes earlier than usual or not sharing their toys means they lose a few minutes of video game time. It's up to parents to decide what will work for their own kids.

Tweens and Teens

Even though tweens and teens think they are all grown up, they still sometimes present child behavior. Parenting tips at this age are just as important as in the preschool stage. Teenagers, in many people's opinions, are even scarier than toddlers. But all tweens and teens have possessions and privileges that are important to them. If they know that a certain behavior will cause them to lose something they consider to be precious, it can act as a huge deterrent to keep them on the right path.

Rewards and Consequences

Most tweens and teens value the same things: money, their friends, and free time away from their parents. Any of these things can be used to encourage your teens to behave the right way. If they do well in school and stay out of trouble, they have earned a little bit more time with their friends and cash to have fun while they're with them. If they mess up at school or at home, they lose some of that time away from their parents. Tweens and teens deserve a certain amount of their parents' trust, unless they show you that they are not worthy of that trust.

Buddy Up

For many tweens and teens, their friends are their biggest influence. Make a huge effort to get to know the kids that your children have chosen as their friends. It can make a big difference in your relationship with your teen.

Child Behavior: Parenting Tips Summary

Kids need their parents to set limits and impose positive and negative consequences based on their behavior. When parents are consistent with these parenting tips, kids will know what is expected of them and comply with those expectations much more readily.