Child Behavior

Can You Ever Give Too Much Praise?

With all of the emphasis today on behavior modification and positive parenting, how do you know if you are praising too much or not enough? The answer really lies within your very own home. There isn't an exact science to parenting, as you've undoubtedly already found out. Some children need lots of attention and positive reinforcement, while others sail through life seemingly without too many worries, cares, or even needs.

How do you know when you've done and/or said enough? Can you ever praise your child too much? While praise is the mainstay of positive parenting, and there isn't any doubt that positive parenting is a great way to raise your child, there actually is such a thing as too much praise.

• Don't overdo it! If you praise effusively, what signifies exceptional behavior? Gushing about your child's mediocre grades on his report card certainly won't inspire him to push for higher grades in the future.
• Make the praise fit the action. In other words, if your child cleaned up her room without being told, that's great. However, don't go overboard with praise for something she should be doing anyway.
• Be specific with your praise. Even very young kids can learn from small amounts of praise, but they need to know what they've done to earn it.
• Know when to stop. Molding child behavior involves many actions over long periods of time. Let your praise be definitive. Don't let it become a habit that neither you nor your child pays much attention to after a while.

Improving Child Behavior

Have you ever been in the grocery store and watched a child pitch a fit because she didn't get her way? Maybe you've watched a teenager slink through a store behind his mom, grunting when she asks him a question and rolling his eyes behind her back. Can these types of child behavior be corrected? Sure they can. You may not be able to transform your teen from a moody adolescent into a sunny individual overnight, but you can certainly change at least some parts of his behavior.

Expectation is the key. If you really don't expect any better behavior from your child, then how and why should he or she change? Here are some ideas for improving your child or teen's behavior:

• Set an example. Model the behavior you expect from your child. Give him or her a role model to look to for clues on how to behave every day.
• Point out positive behavior. Sentences that begin with I appreciate the fact that you… help your kids understand what you expect from them.
• Watch your words. If you are constantly projecting negative words and body language toward your child's behavior, it will be hard for her to break out of her own negativity. Instead of starting with You never…, Don't do that…, or You always..., begin sentences with, I understand you feel… and I see that you are angry about….
• Take some time to cool off. It's easy to get caught up in the heat of the moment. Unfortunately for you and your child, you are both liable to say things that you really don't mean. However, once the words are out there, they can be very difficult to take back. Take some time to cool off before addressing the situation.

Help Is Out There

Child behavior can include minor, every day incidences, or it can encompass more serious issues. Sometimes, you simply can't handle behavior problems on your own. Luckily, there are many wonderful professionals wjo are highly trained to work with behavior issues, and they are also there to guide parents through the rough waters of parenthood as well. If you're simply not ready to reach out to a professional, you might find comfort and help in online support groups. There may even be groups that meet in your area. Check out the following Websites for additional help and information on child behavior:

• Practical Behavior
• Med Help
• Challenging Behavior
• [http:://www.wrightslaw.com/info/discipl.index.htm Wrights Law]
• Behavior Support