Authoritative Parenting Style

The authoritative parenting style should not be confused with the authoritarian one. This is not a military style of raising children, where the parents expect that children will do as they are told without question. It's also different from a very permissive parenting style, where the children are not corrected or disciplined and are left to do whatever they want.

Parents

The authoritative parenting style can be considered an approach that is in between the authoritarian and permissive styles. Parents do set limits for their children, but they also take the time to explain why the limits are in place. The limits the children are expected to live with are set with the children's protection in mind.

There may be times when the child must obey the parent, no matter what they would prefer to be doing. Within this parenting style, there are also times when parents will give their children the freedom to make their own decisions. The parent recognizes that the child needs room to learn and grow, and also to make his or her own mistakes. This is part of the child's learning process.

Authoritative parents are not afraid to let their children know that they are loved on a regular basis. They express affection easily, and children who are raised in this type of secure environment tend to grow up to be independent and responsible members of society. They are respectful of people in authority and are able to form good relationships with others.

The authoritarian parenting style is flexible enough that it can be used for all children. Parents can start using these strategies from the time a child is quite young and continue with the same style as he or she grows older. As the child grows up, he can be given the opportunity to make his own choices about things in his life.

Part of growing up is taking responsibility for the decisions we make, and the authoritative parenting style can help children to learn this skill. When parents give their children the freedom to make some choices as they are growing up, they learn that not everything they attempt is going to turn out the way they anticipated.

Children raised in this style learn that they have the support of loving parents who will help them to deal with the consequences of what they decide to do. This isn't the same thing as the parents getting involved and fixing the issue on behalf of their child. The goal is to help the child move toward being a responsible adult by being given a certain level of freedom as she is growing up. The child has the opportunity to grow and learn from the decisions she has made, whether she ends up being good or not.

When parents who adopt the authoritative parenting style need to discipline their children, they focus in on teaching them how to make better decisions next time. Any punishment that is meted out is fair and consistent.

This parenting style does not use harsh punishments to teach children a lesson. That kind of approach only teaches children how to be angry at the person meting out the punishment and doesn't do much to educate the young person about how to make better decisions going forward.

The authoritative parenting style is a more balanced approach to raising children than either the authoritarian or permissive styles. Children who are raised in this way learn to depend on their own judgment, rather than being told what to do all the time. The permissive parenting style doesn't give them the structure they crave, so they are more likely to act out in socially inappropriate ways.

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