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Night Time Potty Training

My son will be 5 next month and he does not stay dry at night. In fact his pull-up is wet almost every morning. I always thought that he would gradually develop the ability to stay dry at night on his own. I'm beginning to wonder if he needs our help. We limit his drinking in the evening somewhat. Do I need to be more strict about this? Do you have some tips you can give me and at what point should I talk to his doctor about this? We have no problems during the day. He potty trained very easily at 3 1/2. There isn't one set reason as to why some children experience this problem, although there are several possible causes. In some cases, a child's bladder may be too small to hold an excess amount of urine. In others, lower levels of the urine suppressing hormone antidiuretic may be behind the problem.

Thank you!!!

Expert Answer

Hello: I can certainly understand how upsetting this is to both you and your son. However, your son isn't alone in this problem. Approximately fifteen percent of five year olds experience nocturnal enuresis, which is the medical term for bedwetting for children ages five and older. I know that doesn't make what you and your son are feeling any easier to understand or handle, but there are some steps you can take. In many cases, medical treatment isn't recommended until six year of age, but that is a decision that you will need to make with the help of your pediatrician. In the meantime, here are a few tips for you to try.

• Moisture Sensor Alarms-These alarms actually sound when a child is starting to wet the bed. The alarm not only wakes up the child, but it also stimulates the pelvic muscles to contract and interrupt the flow of urine. Eventually a child becomes conditioned to wake up before the need for any alarm. These alarms aren't generally used on children younger than six, however, so they may not be something you're ready to try, yet.
• Limit Fluid Intake-Don't let your child have anything to drink in the last two or three hours before his bedtime. This is the only time you should limit his fluid intake, however. He should still receive the recommended servings and milk, water, juice, etc. throughout the day.
• Visit the Bathroom Before Bed-Be sure you son uses the bathroom right before he goes to bed. I know he probably already does this, but this is a very important step to take as well.
• Create a Reward System-Some parents swear by the reward systems they've used with their children. You can buy inexpensive charts and stickers at your local dollar store. You and your son can keep track of his dry nights using this chart. After he's stayed dry for several nights, reward him with a treat. The reward could be a trip to his favorite ice cream shop or a visit to a local children's museum. You might let him select a small toy, or take him to the movies. The two of you can celebrate his success!
• Medical Remedies-Keep in mind that many pediatricians don't suggest any type of medical intervention until a child reaches six year of age. Your son has another whole year to learn how to stay dry at night, and he may be able to do this without any other type of remedy. If he's reached the six year mark, however, and he is still wetting the bed, talk with your pediatrician.

Finally, try not to get upset, especially in front of your child. You don't want this whole issue to be escalated into an emotional tug of war. Remain calm, and on the mornings that follow a dry night, celebrate your child's success. On those mornings after a bedwetting session has occurred, encourage your child to shoot for a dry night tomorrow. Keep in touch, and let us know how things are progressing!--Susie

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Children Lying

I have a seven year old daughter who has started to lie more recently. What concerns me the most is she says she lies because she is afraid I will get mad at her if she tells me the truth. In some cases she has done something wrong, but in other cases she has not. Personally, I worry more about the lying than the rule breaking. What if something really bad happened and she didn't tell me? I don't want to start this sort of pattern with my kids, what should I do? -- Confused -- Lucy

Expert Answer

Dear Lucy: It is frustrating when our children lie to us. We feel betrayed and we sometimes feel we've failed as parents. Remember, though, that all children go through periods of lying. It's a normal part of growing up. Children lie for different reasons. For many, lying is a way of showing their independence, their separation from their parents.

Most children also lie to preserve their parents' love and admiration. Remember that young children value their parents' opinions above all else. They worry about disappointing their parents. They worry that they will lose some of their parents' love if they're caught misbehaving. And, yes, many children lie to avoid punishment.

The first thing you need to do is analyze your relationship with your child and the atmosphere in your home. Is your child somehow getting the message that she must be perfect to earn your love? Are her punishments or reprimands for misbehavior severe? If so, work to improve this before dealing with the lying. Try to catch her being honest and praise her. Keep expectations realistic. Make sure she realizes that your love for her is unconditional and is not based on her behavior at the moment. Make sure that when you do need to correct her, you criticize the behavior and not her.

It is also important to avoid backing her into corners and forcing her to lie. Often we, as parents, ask questions when we already know the answer. If you know that your daughter spilled the milk, don't ask her. If you ask her she will likely say someone else did it. This type of self preservation is human nature. Instead, just help her clean it up. In time, she will realize that your love for her is not dependent on her perfection, and she will feel more comfortable telling you anything. And when she does confess to things, try to keep your reactions calm and rational. Even as you deal with the bad deeds, praise her honesty.

Parenting isn't easy, and dealing with dishonesty is one of the toughest aspects. Hopefully, this is a passing phase and things will return to normal soon. Just keep the lines of communication open and the love flowing! Good luck! ~~Misty

Parachute Games

Do you know any parachute games? -- krausekatherine

Expert Answer

Dear krausekatherine: The wonderful thing about parachutes is that they are so versatile! Anything can become a fun and exciting parachute game. Simple activities, like skip counting and alphabet recitation, become fun if done with a parachute. Simply have the kids hold the parachute and chant their number facts or letters as the walk, run, or hop around the chute. Or, they can skip to the beat of the music as they carry the parachute. Here are some other, more organized parachute games:

• Color Swap: Everyone should pick a color and hold the handles of the chute. Practice bringing the chute to the ground, and then take it high overhead. When the parachute mushrooms, the "leader" calls out a color. Everyone holding that color must run to the other side before the chute is dropped. If you are using a single-color parachute, you can number the players instead. When you call out a number, all players assigned that digit must try to reach the other side.
• Math Chute: Assign each player a number. As the group holds the parachute over their heads, the "leader" will call out a math problem. All players assigned the answer number run to the other side. For example, if the leader shouts, "4 + 2," all players assigned the number "6" must run to the other side.
• Teddy Bear Bounce: For this game, everyone must hold the parachute tight. Place a small stuffed animal on the chute. Now, practice making Teddy bounce. Use big waves, use tiny ripples, but don't let Teddy fall!
• The Sky is Falling: Have everyone hold the parachute as tight as possible. Everyone should bend over and let the parachute touch the ground. Now, extend your hands as high as possible. Quick! Get under the chute and sit on the edge! Once underneath, you can do any number of activities: tell stories, sing songs, or pretend to be camping. You can even allow a few children to get up and dance in the center of the circle. Just make sure you have enough people holding the chute.
• Detective: One person is chosen as the detective. When the detective leaves the room or covers his eyes, everyone else should hold the parachute. One person will hide under the chute. The detective comes back and must figure out who is missing. Although it sounds easy, this is challenging for young kids, especially if you have a large group around the chute.

These are just a few of the many games you can try with your parachute. Most games can be adapted for chute play. Now, go have fun-- and let us know how you like them! ~~ Misty

Early Morning Twins

I have twin toddlers who wake up at an ungodly hour every morning. Do you have any tips on how I can get them to sleep later, or at least let me sleep later? I have tried telling them they have to stay in bed until the sun comes up, but that doesn't seem to work. –SleepDeprived

Expert Answer

Dear SleepDeprived: Just when your children outgrow their need for nighttime feedings they become toddlers who wake at the crack of dawn! At times it seems parents should just resign themselves to a life of sleep deprivation. Don't worry, though. There are some practical steps you can take to ensure that everyone gets the sleep they need.

The first thing you should look at is the twins' bedtime. Most toddlers need about 10-13 hours of sleep each night. If the twins have an early bedtime, it isn't reasonable to expect them to sleep late, too. If an early bedtime is the problem, try getting them to stay up a bit later at night. This will need to be done gradually. To begin, push their bedtime forward by 15 minutes. After a few nights, add another 15 minutes. Keep doing this until you reach a bedtime -- and a wake time -- that works for your family.

If bedtime is not the problem, check out the twins' bedroom. Is the moon, early morning sun, or a street light shining through the window? If so, try using some room-darkening blinds, drapes, or curtains to keep the light out.

If neither of these works, you might just have to accept the twins' early rising. However, you can still get the sleep you need. Simply explain to them that rest is important for your health. Let them know that even if they wake early, they must respect your sleep. Then provide them with plenty of quiet early morning activities. Keep a supply of books, quiet toys, games, and videos on an accessible shelf in their room. You might even want to offer rewards for quiet mornings. Stickers are an excellent motivator for most toddlers. Good luck -- and sleep well!~~Misty