Kids and Ailing Pets

We had to put our dog down today and my husband and I had a parenting disagreement for a minute, before he relented and let me have my way, but now I’m second-guessing myself.

We knew it was her time and I felt we needed to tell the girls and let them say goodbye. My husband thought it would be too hard on them. I told him that I didn’t think they’d be able to accept it as well if they didn’t get to tell her they loved her and say goodbye, so he relented.

Just wondering how others handle this. My girls are 16 and 12, so they aren’t tiny children.

Hi Lori,

I think with your children 16 and 12, you did the right thing.  I know when I was probably 17 or 18 I was on a trip working with disabled adults for the summer.  When I returned my sister took me to Swensons to tell me that my dog, who I loved dearly, passed away when I was gone.  It was very hard on me because I was not there to say goodbye. 

As a mom, we have lost two dogs.  One died after he ate poison.  I only had one very young son at the time.  He saw our dog getting worse.  I was, however, grateful that the worst part happened in the middle of the night when he was asleep.

My other dog I believe was taken by a coyote.  Because I was not positive what happened we searched for him and just hoped that he was with a good family.  My older son understood that he was probably taken by a coyote. 

I think it really just depends on the maturity level of your children and how much they can or cannot handle.  I always think it is a good idea to say “goodbye”.

I agree. . .I think you did the right thing. Although we haven’t really had lots of pets so this is a parenting dilemma I’ve not had to deal with, I feel like with teens - had you done it without them getting that chance to say their good byes, you would’ve violated their trust. That would’ve been much harder to repair. On top of that - they still would’ve had their good byes.

Definitely the right thing… I think they are of an age where saying goodbye is very important. I even debated it with my 7 year old, but since our (20 year old) cat was ill for a long time, we all knew it was coming. When she finally got so bad I had to take her in, I went before my daughter was home from school - I did debate waiting, but couldn’t do it. She was ok, but we still miss our kitty…

A while ago my kids had a fish that I specifically bought to teach them the cycle of life since I knew it would not live for a really long time. We all cared for the fish together and when the fish did eventually pass after a few months, I explained to my kids what had happened and although they were sad, it was one way to introduce death to my young kids.

I’m not saying this compares at all to a family dog or cat that has been around for a long time, but I think kids need to understand that nothing lives forever.